1. You don't. Created objects get created on the server, and you don't get a response until later. If you need to pass parameters to your created object, use RCCs (sticky post on this forum explains how).
2. Check tno.isMine (if the script is derived from TNBehaviour), or GetComponent<TNObject>().isMine otherwise.
3. Server is just a ~50 kb executable that comes with TNet. It doesn't even need Unity, so no.